There have been a few religions and philosophers who have taught that life is just about pain and suffering. Your time on this planet is nothing but hard work, heartbreak and turmoil. Sounds gloomy as heck doesn't it? Well, the upside is that suffering also leads to wisdom and possibly enlightenment. I wonder if series creator Tokuro Fujiwara is a believer of such things, as playing Ultimate Ghosts 'N Goblins is a lot like these teachings. Here's a game that is full of stress and frustration but you'll never be more satisfied when you finally beat it.

Hurts so good
The noble knight, Arthur, is on a quest to once again save the Princess Prin Prin (?! I dunno, that's what it says on the box) who's been kidnapped by Loki and the dark forces of the Demon Realm. Poor Arthur. Monsters and evil things are everywhere. One misstep will lead to your doom! Don't fret too much, though, we're here to suffer along with ya.

While many gamers are marveling over the interactive powers of the upcoming Nintendo Wii, they can have a similar experience with their ol' PSP. Never before has one been so able to feel the plight of their videogame compatriot. Arthur is attacked never-endlessly by enemies from every which way. Items are placed in impossible to reach areas. You might be down to your underwear and see that suit of armor off on a high ledge with baddies lurking by. That doesn't scare you. Nope. You go for it anyways only to discover that you leaped a little too soon, bounce off a skeleton, and plummet to your death. This'll happen a lot and when I say a lot I mean often. Somewhere during this process of dying many times you make some kind of connection with Arthur. When he gets hurt you can almost feel it, especially in your brain. While many tell me this is just the frustration of this incredibly tough game, I personally think it's a special magical bond between Arthur and me. Anyhoo, it's safe to say that you'll need to pop a couple of Excedrin and take a nap after a few hours of gameplay.

Sooo…if a game is this hard how can it be any fun? That's a little hard to explain. For some this game won't be any fun. Capcom did include easier difficulties and an armor meter to make things a little easier. There are also many weapons to find, though if you accidentally pick up the wrong one at the wrong time it's curtains for you! The actual gameplay itself is very simple and you'll find yourself compelled to complete the level you're on and maybe move on to the next. It becomes a crazed addiction that hardcore gamers thrive off of. It's tough, but not impossible (but pretty close).

Classics never die
The graphics and sound are beautifully updated recreations of the series' 16bit titles. Even though UGnG is rendered in 3D, this isn't Maximo. It's still played in the 2D realm and keeps the side-scrolling platform feel of the past GnG games. You'll recognize a few tunes, but most of the music is new and all of it is astounding. I do miss the diddy that they used to play during the map screen on Ghouls 'N Ghosts for the Sega Genesis. I remember doing a 14-hour session back in the day and heard that song so many times (due to having to continue often) that it's permanently implanted in my noggin. It's hard for me not to think of these games without hearing it. The control is fabulous, though one wrong nudge of the controller and you're dead. Yup.

Boxers or briefs?
Ahh…I have to give a big high five to Capcom for taking a risk and not dumbing down Ultimate Ghosts 'N Goblins. The videogame world needs more tough titles like this one. I'll bet that most of our crowned video game champions would go home to their mommies if I were to slide a PSP down a table to them with Ultimate Ghosts 'N Goblins in it. I'd love to see them take that Pepsi challenge, yes sir. A game this hard must lead to some kind of spiritual enlightenment. There's a special place in Videogame Valhalla for those of you that manage to complete this title. That I can surely guarantee.

-NakedBoB