After watching countless episodes of VH1's "Behind the Music," and E!'s "True Hollywood Story", I've come to the conclusion that one of the biggest problems with becoming a celebrity is the hangers-on. You know, those people that aren't really your friends, that you don't even really like, and although you can't quite explain how they became an inseparable part of your entourage, there they are. When he first exploded onto the scene in the 90s, Sonic the Hedgehog became one of the video game industry's biggest celebrities, and he's got the lame-ass coattail riders to prove it. He's acquired a posse so big that he's become a guest star in the latest game to bear his own name, Sonic Heroes.

It all started innocently enough, with the debut of Tails (aka Miles Prower, one of the most clever names ever given a video game character) in Sonic 2. Despite Tails' presence, Sonic was still the obvious star of the show. Even the addition of Knuckles in Sonic 3 didn't diminish the blue one's dominance over the game. Things didn't really start getting out of hand until Sonic made the leap into 3d with Sonic Adventure. That was when Amy, Big the Cat, and E-102 were added to the "other character" roster. That's five characters who aren't Sonic all crammed into a Sonic game. Sonic Adventure 2 continued the downward spiral by adding the intensely irritating Rouge and Shadow. (Apparently Sega developers were being heavily influenced by makeup at that point.) This officially upped the ante by making it six to one: Sonic was the odd man out in his own game. Sick to death of Sonic games that just weren't, well, Sonic games, gamers bitched, moaned, and most importantly, stayed away in droves.

Sonic Heroes is clearly Sega's attempt to make up with disgruntled Sonic fans, as it puts far less emphasis on exploration and far more on the speed and barely-controlled chaos that made us fall in love with the blue one in the first place. The problem is they didn't ditch the lame friends; in fact, they added more. There are, count them, eleven other characters in Sonic Heroes, but you don't actually have to play most of them if you don't want to. Heroes is set up to be played with four teams of three; each team plays slightly differently. Team Sonic, made up of Sonic, Tails, and Knuckles, is the equivalent of playing the game on "normal." Team Dark (Rouge, Shadow, and E-123), is like playing the game on "hard," and Team Rose (Amy, Big, and Cream) is the equivalent of "easy." Team Chaotix, comprised of characters so obscure you shouldn't feel bad for not recognizing them (Charmy, Vector, and Espio…see what I mean?), run through the same levels the other teams do, but they have special missions to accomplish, such as finding a certain number of hermit crabs or destroying every last robot.

Each team has a speed character, a flying character, and a power character. You swap between characters as the terrain, enemies, or your mood dictates. Some areas force you to use a particular character at a particular time, but for the most part it's up to you. The levels definitely evoke memories of the early Sonic games, as you tear through collecting rings and smashing Dr. Eggman's robots. Even though purists might complain about not being able to play as Sonic 100% of the time, the three-member team concept works pretty well, and allows for some nifty level design elements, such as smashing through floors or flying up towers. Each character type also has its own style of combat, with individual strengths and weaknesses. Switching between characters is a mere press of a button, and since they all are controlled essentially the same way, trading off doesn't interrupt the flow of the game at all. Overall, the team concept adds to the traditional Sonic-style gameplay without robbing too much of its identity. That's if you're playing as Team Sonic, of course. If you're playing as one of the other Teams, you still have a speed character, but it's just not the same. I'm not saying it's bad, I'm just saying it's not the same. I mean, really, Amy as a lead character? I think not. If you want Sonic, Sonic, and nothing but Sonic, 75% of this game is going to be of no interest to you.

Graphically, the game hasn't changed all that much from the two Adventure games that graced the Dreamcast, but they were so eye-poppingly gorgeous, that's not really a criticism. The environments and characters are so bright and colorful, they look like candy. You may actually need sunglasses while playing the casino level. The levels are beyond enormous; it'll take several runs through the game before you see all there is to see. Sadly, Sega brought the crappy camera from the Dreamcast games, too. Come on, guys, it's been years. Fix it, already. When you give us levels with branching paths in all directions, we need to be able to see in all directions. Go call the folks at Insomniac. If you ask real nicely, maybe they'll let you look at their notes.

The music is the same blandly upbeat synth-pop that's been plaguing the Sonic games for years, but it's not obtrusive or annoying, and the sound effects are fun and zippy. What I can't deal with anymore is the voice acting. If I hear Tails whine "Soooonnnniiiicccc" one more time, I'm up a clocktower with a high-powered rifle, I swear. Team Rose is easily the most insufferable, with Cream the Bunny sounding like she's high and Big the Cat sounding like he was dropped on his head when he was a kitten. For the love of all that we hold dear, Sega, if you're going to force us to play with these B-listers, the least you can do is shut them up.

The biggest problem with Sonic Heroes is that it's really hard to judge it on its own merits. If you forget who's starring in it for a moment, it becomes a much better game. The team-based gameplay is fun, and having each team play a little differently not only opens Heroes up to a wider range of skill levels, but also increases replayability. Fair or not, though, you have to judge this as a Sonic game. Certain titles bring certain expectations with them, and it's the developers' responsibility to meet those expectations. A Resident Evil game without zombies might still be a great game, but it simply wouldn't be Resident Evil. The same holds true for Heroes. Although it has much to offer, it simply isn't the Sonic game we were promised. If you can make it past that disappointment, you'll enjoy your time with the Heroes. Except maybe Charmy Bee. He just gets on my last nerve.