When Conker's Bad Fur Day first appeared on the N64 five years ago, it was declared a classic. The crude humor and the VERY adult content made the game widely known amongst the gaming community. Most of the shock factor probably came from the fact that there was a game out on the N64 with such a notoriously known M-rating.

Five years ago, I was still in middle school, so it was a known fact that my mother would never let me near Conker, the cute little fluffy squirrel we were introduced to in Diddy Kong Racing, especially at such a young age. Now, five years has past and consoles have come and gone. Rare has reintroduced the classically crude Conker on the Xbox in a remake of the classic with brighter graphics and a new multiplayer shooter mode for the new generation of gamers. Conker: Live & Reloaded (CLR) is a guaranteed good time for those without weak stomachs.

It all started at the Cock and Plunker…

The bad fur day that started it all begins after one heck of a hangover. The last thing Conker remembered doing was calling his girlfriend Berri to let her know he'd be home late. Eventually waking from a drunken blackout, Conker sensed something was a bit screwy…

Learning how to play the came takes place shortly thereafter, as Conker runs into Birdy, a scarecrow with a drunken slur. Birdy gives the rundown of the contextually sensitive action 'buttons' located the game itself. Other than puzzle solving and jumping (not including the tail spin that supposedly drives girls wild), most of the action is based around these contextually sensitive 'buttons'. Press B on top of one and depending on where you are, something befitting the context of the situation will happen, whether it be turning into an anvil to break through a floor board or drinking some Alka-Seltzer to cure that hang- over.

But if the buttons are only contextual, how are you supposed to defend yourself? With conventional weapons, such as a wooden bat with a few nails hammered into it, of course. Combat with enemies is rather simple, running up and taking a whack, and then retreating during the counter attack. Repeat about five times and your enemies will be vanquished. If you find yourself a bit damaged after a confrontation, you can pick up some chocolate laying around the world to rebuild your life, or even pick up hanging squirrel tails for extra lives.

The plot is rather confusing, never quite focusing on the goal, if there even is one. You'll find yourself helping the weirdest of creatures with the promise of cash, avoiding the Tediz, evil hybrids of teddy bears and Nazis, and bumping into death, who happens to be named Greg and has a hatred for cats. The confusing plot adds to the humor because you'll never know what to expect with Conker. Who knows? Maybe the characters will start arguing about the developers intended purpose of a particular scene, or maybe the game will parody scenes from the Matrix, or even Star Wars.

The Conker that originally appeared five years ago is now a much better looking Conker. The graphics have been touched up from the games last appearance and are, by far, some of the best graphics to appear on the Xbox to date. The colors are truly immense and the landscapes are depicted to the very last detail. The only killjoy for the graphics category is the camera angles. The camera does not move by itself but instead needs assistance from the right thumb stick. Often times, I had difficulty maneuvering Conker simply due to problems with the camera.

The sounds of Conker are almost realistic to the point they would make you sick. Bodily functions are depicted in a way that would, dare I say, make you think it's the real thing. Even character voices are hilarious. Conker himself sounds cuddly, in a sadistic alcoholic squirrel kind of way.

Attention Maggots!

The new aspects of CLR takes advantage of the Xbox live feature with an all out war between the evil Tediz and the good-guy SHC's (Squirrel High Commanders). The multiplayer battles follow through a third person format just as any multiplayer shooter would: kill the bad guys while trying to maintain a good enough individual rank so that your friends can't make fun of you. While it's a bit difficult to get used to, with hard to aim weapons, and a few difficult to navigate levels, the game is loads of fun and will have you yelling battle cries at your TV screen – with a bit of practice.

There are different types of soldiers to choose from in battle, so don't think you're getting stuck with a single kind. Grunts are your standard all around soldier, whereas sneakers are good as close range combat soldiers and can disappear quite easily. Demolishers are available for those that like to just all out destroy things whereas Long Rangers do just what the name implies. Finding a soldier that matches your combat style might take a few tries, but once you find one that's comfortable, the action becomes less of a chore and more enjoyable.


Nothing lacks in the war games of CLR. The graphics are just as good as they were if you just finished playing Bad Fur Day, filled with the same immense detail and color. The battlefields themselves are something to look at, whether they're huge castles or the D-Day scene straight out of Saving Private Ryan. Gun shots and feet scuttling add to the aria of sounds heard in combat. The whole ensemble makes you feel like you're in battle, regardless of whether or not you're fighting blood thirsty teddy bears.

So does Conker live up to his own legend?

Any game that has a visibly huge warning label on the front is a definite must-play. Conker: Live & Reloaded lives up to the hype the original gained five years ago. The multiplayer aspects are fun, but take a little work to get into, and the remade classic is where all the hilarity ensues. With new graphics and awesome parodies, this game will knock your socks off and have you laughing for the majority of the ten hours of gameplay. If you've never played Conker before you won't regret spending the money. If you were blessed with an earlier birth year and did get to play the original, consider spending the money to revisit the alcoholic squirrel and try out the new artillery of the multiplayer.